The ADD adult, may have on many occasions experienced relationship issues due to their condition. This very often comes from a lack of understanding of social behavior and many times the cues that you needed to have picked up on (and learned) when you were younger were missed.
When children play they learn many different skills, one of them being social interaction with other children. The Attention Deficit child is unable to notice the subtle and non verbal clues that the other children use. An everyday example could be when the ADD child does not know why their friend is angry with them. The friend may have already non verbally expressed their anger many times before but the signals were not picked up. The child will only find out when their friend tells them. As children with Attention Deficit Disorders grow older, their friendship groups may become smaller as a result of similar misunderstandings, limiting the amount of practice they will have to further develop their social skills.
This shouldn't be seen as an obstacle if this has been an issue for you, as all social skills can be learned. There are many social skills that an ADD adult may need to learn before their relationships will improve, but the following two are the most important and will bring about the quickest results. These new skills will be a challenge to begin with, but after a few attempts they will become easier, opening up new opportunities for you.
The First Golden Rule is to listen twice as much as you talk. All too often the ADD adult will ramble on while the other person has lost interest a long time ago. By asking the other person questions, you are giving them an opportunity to participate in the conversation preventing a monologue.
The Second Golden Rule is to hold your tongue and think before you speak. This is easier said than done. The way you say things can come out wrong and without strong social skills you may be unable to pick up what went wrong. Where possible write down what you want to say first and evaluate it carefully before saying it.
In essence the best way to achieve an improvement is to practice. Find a situation that feels comfortable for you, where you are able to practice what you have learned. This could be with a trusted friend or loved one. No-one is born with these communication skills and you can learn what it takes too. There is nothing that has sufficient power to stop the ADD adult who is willing to make a change and follow through with it.
About The Author
Rolf Joss is an Author on both Attention Deficit Disorders and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorders. As an Author on these subjects, he is at the forefront to provide solutions to those with ADD and ADHD.
For more articles (or training) for the ADD Adult or to get your FREE ADD/ADHD Mini Guide, go to http://www.whatisadd-adhd.com/.
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