Bipolar disorder is a difficult thing to explain to anyone, let alone to one's children. However, as your children become older, it is important to let them know what is going on. After all, much of the behavior associated with the disorder might seem very strange to a child, and they might take some of it to be their own fault, if they don't know what is happening. In discussing bipolar disorder with children, there are a few things to take into account: when to tell them, how to tell them, and what to emphasize.
When to Tell Children
Children under the age of five probably won't be able to understand anything that you say to them about bipolar disorder, anyway. The best thing that you can do at that age is to tell them occasionally that you "aren't feeling well" or are "sick" when you need to take some time off or in the hospital.
However, after the age of five, children usually have enough emotional awareness that you can be more specific about the condition. You can tell them not only that you have bipolar disorder but also about the symptoms and other specifics of the disorder itself.
How to Tell Children
Mostly, you'll want to focus on explaining bipolar disorder to children in an age-appropriate way. When children are under ten, you can simply say, "I have a sickness called 'bipolar'. It makes me sad sometimes and really happy at other times. When I'm sad, sometimes I need to just go sleep."
When children are over ten, however, they are capable of understanding a lot more, and it world providing them with some "psychoeductation" or simply instruction about the disorder itself. One of the best ways of doing this is to enroll in family therapy that includes psychoeducation as a component. There are also many introductory books on bipolar disorder that you can provide to your children.
What to Emphasize
One of the most important things to emphasize when explaining bipolar to your children is that your moods are not their fault. So, for instance, if you are depressed, it is not the child's fault that you are depressed. Similarly, if you are angry, it is not the child's fault that you are angry. Children take their parents' emotions incredibly personally, so emphasizing this can prevent a lot of long-term harm.
Conclusion
Discussing bipolar disorder with your children can be difficult, but it can be done in phases. When they are young children, simply focus on age-appropriate ideas like "happy" and "sad". Later, when they are adolescents, you can provide them with more specific information about the disorder. In all cases, make sure that your children understand that your episodes are not their own fault.
Daniel W Bader, Ph.D. was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1997 and now runs a website offering news, information and opinion about the condition called Bipolar Today. He has a page there that discusses the list of bipolar disorder symptoms.
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